It can be one of the most frustrating things when you know what would be best for somebody you love, like an aging parent, and they simply refuse. You might have been talking about various elder care options in the past with your father, and the best one is certainly an assisted living facility, but he is not interested.
It’s best not to press right away. Give it time. Sure, it may feel like there’s not enough time to be patient, especially if his health or memory or a variety of things are just not the way they used to be. You may go home and worry every night, wondering if he slipped while getting out of bed or is unable to help himself while you’re not there.
The truth is that most seniors still have independence and autonomy. They still get to choose what happens to them, what type of elder care they rely on, and whether or not they choose assisted living.
The moment we start forcing this upon our aging loved ones is the moment they feel as though they have lost control of their life. That’s what can lead to frustration, outbursts, aggression, and defiance.
How could your father be convinced?
Many people overlook the simple fact that a quality assisted living community that has the space might offer respite care options. Respite care simply means short-term stays.
Every facility is different, but if you find a good assisted living community in the area, find out if they offer a few days a week, overnight stays, a week or two at a time, or maybe even a month or more.
This is a wonderful way to help your father see how beneficial assisted living could be for him, all it has to offer with regard to activities and companionship and fellowship and get all that firsthand rather than through information pamphlets and booklets or even online videos and information.
Why would your father want to go to assisted living, even for short-term care?
Maybe he relies on you or somebody else in the family for most of his support. Perhaps they have to go away on business, are taking a vacation, or are simply overwhelmed with everything else going on in life.
Your father may still need the support at home, but if nobody is going to be there, why not talk to him about staying at a local assisted living facility for a week? Of course, you’ll want to find out from the facility before you start talking about it to make sure they offer that option.
Yes, your elderly father may have dismissed the idea of assisted living for himself already, but that doesn’t mean he won’t change his mind in the future. Many seniors ultimately realize the value of assisted living when they go there for a week or even a few days or simply for overnight stays.
He could be another one of those people who changes his mind and sees the value it offers.