Stacy was getting stressed. She had been supporting her elderly mother for a while, and the job was wearing her down. She had plenty of other responsibilities, but couldn’t turn her back on her mom, not when she needed help the most. So, she went forth and did the best she could, but it was taking a toll on her health, time, relationships, and life.
Even though her friends and coworkers both encouraged her to mention assisted living to her mother, she struggled to broach the topic.
That’s because her mother had admonished her plenty through the years to not ‘put her in a home.’ Of course, most seniors tend to think of other facility-style care when they say things like that.
People can easily mistake assisted living for other types of facility care, even though it is completely different.
Stacy avoided the topic for too long.
Every day that Stacy seemed to work up enough courage to bring of the topic of assisted living with her mother, she ultimately backed away, usually because her mother would be weeping, depressed, wallowing in her circumstances, or thanking Stacy for helping her.
One day her mother said, “I’m just so thankful you help me. I don’t know what I’d do if it wasn’t for you.” To which Stacy replied, “Mom, you know I love you.” And she immediately said, “I know, honey. I know your brother would have just shipped me off to some home already.”
It was those comments that continued to break her down and ratchet up her anxiety levels.
Then one day it was almost too late.
Because her mother lived alone, no longer drove, and didn’t have visitors often, she missed out on so many wonderful aspects of life. When Stacy’s mother had a medical emergency, she spent time in a hospital.
When she was finally about to return home and her mother was talking once more about how grateful she was that Stacy wasn’t pushing her into a facility, the doctors mentioned assisted living.
Stacy was relieved, even though her mother dismissed the concept immediately. However, the primary doctor noticed Stacy’s demeanor and recognized the struggle and pressed the topic more.
Eventually, Stacy’s mother agreed to at least consider it and when she visited an assisted living facility nearby, she was enthralled. “Why didn’t you tell me about this sooner?” was her comment.
This almost made Stacy laugh if it hadn’t stung so much. Yes, bringing up the topic of assisted living may not be easy, but it often is a blessing hidden beneath the stress and anxiety.